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H​.​A​.​G​.​S.

by Tallboy

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1.
last summer all i could think was how me moving was gonna change everything and everything changed though not because of that this summer all i can think is how you fucked me over when i gave you everything everything change because of you i hope that you have a really great summer i hope that you're happy now that you've got it figured out remember the night before you left for school? we walked around your neighborhood and you gave me that picture of you i still have it but i won't hang it in my room because it doesn't make me happy like it used to i kinda just wanna fucking burn it and those bracelets you made me, yeah i still have them but i don't really care now if i lose the cause i don't wear them everyday anymore and what were you thinking when you told me that you'd miss me? i don't think you really meant it but i did, i did i hope that you have a really great summer i hope that you're happy now that you've got it figured out i hope you don't think of me when you're feeling blue cause i don't care anymore i don't give a fuck anymore i hope that you have a really, really, really great summer cause mine's kind of sucked so far i've just been working and everything feels hard so please to ask for me if you miss me cause i don't care anymore i don't care anymore please don't ask for me if you miss me cause i don't care i don't care
2.
fairfax, va 02:38
holy shit i wish i could make you miss me or something oh my god, is that too selfish? oh my god, i'm so sorry please ignore me i tend to talk when i get nervous but i'm not nervous i'm just sad it's ok i'm alright it's just a fact and i wish you didn't leave me but i understand your reasons for leaving it's ok, i'm not mad but i wish we'd talk like we used to, cause i do miss talking to youi i wanna tell you about the good days that i've had looking forward to the new semester living in some shitty house with cool people but i kinda wish they were you but you're somewhere up north and i'm stuck here in virginia surrounded by all the things that we used to like to do and i wish you didn't leave me but i understand your reasons for leaving it's ok, i'm not mad but i wish we'd talk like we used to, cause i do miss talking to youi i wanna tell you about the good days that i've had cause they're not bad like they were when i was in fairfax like they were when we still talked like they were when school started up i wanna tell you about the new friends that i've made here and how i miss my old roommate, megan and how you were literally the best part of this year i don't regret it at all i just miss you a lot but i don't regret it at all
3.
i woke up expecting to see your name on my phone screen again but it hasn't been there since that one night at like 3 am but that's ok because if this is what you want then it's also what i want is that too codependent? oh my go did you here i almost got arrested the other day? and i crashed my car right on to cary street and i've met like three people who share your name and it's getting easier to adjust to just nothing i've been going to see a lot of plays lately because all my friends are theatre majors and they always invite me and i've been waking up early like every goddamn morning oh my god i've changed so much in like the last three months our landlord wouldn't sign the lease but that's ok i kinda wanna live in oregon hill anyway and i think that the universe might have it out for me but its possible it's just been trying to teach me something, or something and don't worry because i know that we're not friends and i'll stop pretending like we ever even really have been hey do you think that you could shoot me a text or something of that nature? remember the night that we slept in the same bed nervous and scared and a little bit under the weather? your dog died that saturday and i wished i could take away your pain but i can't do anything no i can't do anything

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released July 19, 2017

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Tallboy

marshall and emily

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